For Those Who Are Heartbroken 💔

A free website to help with your breakup.

My name is David and I got dumped on May 2nd, 2021. It was a 5 ½ year relationship and the breakup came out of nowhere.

It’s still fresh — I’m sad, angry, lost, confused, scared (“Will I ever find someone again?”), and so many other things. Most days, I jump between emotions minute-by-minute.

I want to heal and feel better, so I created this website as a resource for myself… to share my Truth.

I’m not selling anything. I spend a ton of time looking for answers and help, and want to share what I learn. I hope it helps you, too.

Good luck with your breakup journey. I’m right there with you taking it moment-by-moment.


May 13th, 2021

My Favorite Resources

  • My journal entries. I wrote a lot every day. Here are my main takeaways each day so you can see my journey.

  • My video. I documented my heartbreak for six months by video, and then published the video.

  • My interviews on grief. I asked my friends and family what they’ve noticed in my grieving, and their best advice for getting over heartbreak.

  • Helpful guides. I watched a lot of videos to help me understand what I was feeling and feel better, and these are my favorites.

  • Other helpful resources. These are other things that helped me feel better.

What I Remember: A Rough Timeline of My Grief

  • Day One. I was in shock. I called everyone I could, and I sobbed uncontrollably. I could barely sleep that night, and the next day I woke up after 3 1/2 hours of tortured sleep. I felt like I was going to vomit for about 24 hours after the breakup came out of nowhere. I barely ate.

  • Week One. I was surprised to see anger show up so early (the second day), mixed in with a ton of sadness, doubt, and bargaining in my dreams (i.e. in my dreams I'd be begging her to take me back). The first week, I barely ate and dropped about 10 lbs.

  • Month One. For most of the month, I couldn't do much of anything. I had no motivation to do anything physical for the first few weeks (I started lightly working out around the third week). I was extremely quiet, didn't find anything funny, felt depressed, didn't have the motivation to cook or clean. Around the 30th day is when I started seeing a few glimpses of hope (but not many) and I started getting motivation to clean my plate and eat somewhat more normally (but not completely normally). "Sexual bereavement" was a very prominent feeling I had. Generally, I was heavily facing anger, sadness, denial.

  • Month Two. At times, the second month felt like a regression — I had more consecutive days of crying in the second month than the first month. The ups-and-downs were more noticeable in the second month... and, many days felt really challenging. It was also made harder by many friends cutting back on texting, calling, and asking me how I was doing. I felt really alone, and the emotions often felt STRONGER in the second month compared to the first month, which felt more like shock and numbness over the situation not feeling like reality.

  • Month Three. This month felt like a continuation of month two in many ways. Sledging through the mud is what most days felt like. A lot of more existential questions came up: What am I meant to do? What makes me happy? What is my purpose? It felt like the relationship was a catalyst to deeper questions about my life. And, I still felt a lot of competition with my ex-girlfriend: Wanting to find someone before she does and be happier before she is.

  • Month Four. There was some shifting this month. I "forced" myself to go on an adventure, to experience a new environment and try something new. I went to Belize and the nomad community Umaya Village, and met so many new people... and formed a new romantic connection. Being around people really helped show that I could make friendships and be loved — that my life wasn't only rejection. I still thought about my ex-girlfriend —anger, sadness, the "WTF" feeling of how this even happened — but the emotions were less acute and painful.

  • Month Five. I continued to stay away from San Diego, where my ex-girlfriend lives and where six years of memories had been associated and blended together with her. Being away from San Diego really helped, and I continued to heal during this time. I still felt moments of wondering how it happened, if I would ever find someone better, and comparing every woman to her. The pain was less acute and I was able to function again "normally", but a new state of normal. The healing hasn't been happening overnight, instead, it's incremental changes on a weekly and monthly basis that have helped me get better and better.